‘Tis the season, the holidays are upon us! The holidays are meant to be a time of joy and celebration, but they are so often associated with stress, exhaustion, and burnout. Do any of the following ring true for you: Are you feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do to prepare for the season? Are you inundated with family gatherings and holiday parties? Do you feel stressed when thinking about all the gifts you need to buy? If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, you are not alone. If your stress is left unchecked, you may go through the season on autopilot and have difficulty truly enjoying your favorite traditions and connecting with family and friends. Prioritizing self-care during this season is essential. Practicing self-care can help improve your mental, physical, and emotional well-being and is effective in preventing burnout.
Understanding Holiday Stress and Burnout
The holiday season can feel like a never-ending list of things to do and prepare for. You’ve likely experienced at least one, if not more, of the following types of stressors:
- Social Expectations: Is your calendar filling up with parties, gatherings, and other holiday events? Maybe it’s holiday parties at work, holiday events at your child’s school, or social gatherings with friends and family members who have come into town. This season is often a time of social festivities which can be fun and enjoyable. However, whether you are the one throwing the party or are a guest at all these gatherings, watching your calendar fill up with events can feel stressful. It can feel even more stressful if you also feel obligated to attend everything you are invited to. On top of all of this, there may be other tasks you must do to prepare for each event, like finding something to wear, baking or cooking something for the party, or buying gifts.
- Financial Pressure: This time of year is also associated with increased financial strain. Buying decorations and gifts can add up, not to mention the cost of traveling to visit loved ones during the holidays. You may feel uncertain about who you need to buy gifts for, how much to spend on each person, and if it’s proper party etiquette to give gifts to those hosting the party. It can feel overwhelming to think about making ends meet during this season.
- Increased Workload: For many, life in general may feel busy and stressful even without all the added tasks associated with the holidays. Many people experience an increase in workload during the holidays as they make time in their schedule to buy and wrap gifts, decorate, cook, bake, host guests, attend holiday showcases and events for their children, or travel. Individually, these tasks may be exciting and joyful but without the proper balance and self-care, these tasks can feel like just another box to check off.
- Grief: The most joyous times of the year are also the times where we experience waves of grief and sadness if mourning the loss of a loved one. It can be difficult to navigate grief while also balancing the many other emotions and tasks associated with the holidays. Spending the holidays for the first time without your loved one can be difficult and bring on a wave of confusing emotions. You may also feel a sense of grief around the holidays if you are recently divorced and having to split time with your children during this season.
It is normal to experience increased stress during the holiday season due to the abovementioned stressors. Coping with stress during the holiday season is essential because left unchecked, too much stress can negatively impact our health in a variety of ways:
- Mental Exhaustion: You may find yourself feeling more irritable, anxious, and sad. It’s common to feel more tired, experience difficulties concentrating, or feel more numb or disconnected from yourself and others as a result of stress overload. This may make it difficult to be present during holiday-related tasks and festivities.
- Physical Effects: Our normal sleep and eating patterns may be disrupted during the holiday season. You may find yourself waking up earlier, staying up later, and/or skipping meals to stay on top of all your tasks. Another common effect is difficulty falling or staying asleep if your mind is racing with thoughts of what is still left to get done. Lack of sleep and changes in appetite can make it difficult to be present and engaged when spending time with family and friends during holiday activities.
- Emotional Toll: Many people may feel like they need to be superman or superwoman during the holiday season by creating the joy of the season for their children and families, balancing work and home responsibilities, and showing up for others rather than prioritizing their own needs. But the reality is, it’s impossible to juggle all these tasks and responsibilities perfectly. For many, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Many people also find it hard to confide in others about how stressed and overwhelmed they feel. They would rather give the impression of being poised and put together. This can lead to feelings of isolation when others do not realize that you need help, validation, and emotional support.
Tips for Practicing Self-Care During the Holidays
Now that we have established how taxing the holiday season can be on our mental, physical, and emotional well-being, it is important to find ways to take care of ourselves during this busy time. Building in acts of self-care can help combat the pressures of the holiday season and restore a sense of balance to your life. The following are ways to care for yourself as the holiday season unfolds:
Establish Boundaries Practice setting boundaries this holiday season, by saying “no,” setting aside time for yourself, and managing others’ expectations of you.
- The Power of “No”: Setting a boundary can be as short and to the point as saying “no” to things you do not want to do or are a low priority for you. Practice politely declining invitations or requests to holiday events that you do not want to attend. You do not have to give a reason or explanation as to why you are saying no. By saying no, you are showing yourself kindness and respect by prioritizing your own mental health and wellness.
- Set Aside Time for You: This may seem challenging to do if everyone is demanding your time, but intentionally setting aside even ten minutes a day that are dedicated to you can make a difference. Some ideas of how to do this could be stepping away from your desk and taking a short walk during your lunch break, listening to music before bed, or waking up a few minutes early to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee (or cocoa!) before starting your day. Take an extra ten minutes during your drive home to look at Christmas lights while listening to your favorite holiday tune. Make time to enjoy your favorite holiday coffee drink or treat!
- Manage Expectations from Loved Ones: Let your loved ones know what they can expect from you this holiday season. For example, you may need to tell your family that you will not be able to travel this season to visit them or may need to limit the number of gatherings you attend so that you can prioritize the needs of your immediate family (i.e., yourself, children, spouse). Although this may bring up feelings of upset amongst family members, that is not your responsibility to manage or fix. Decide what is most important to you and your immediate family to help shape your priorities and expectations for the season.
Prioritize Mental Health: Finding and practicing coping skills that work for you can be a great way of showing yourself kindness and care this holiday season:
- Find ways to Relax: What helps you feel calm and relaxed during the holidays? Some people find relaxation when they practice deep breathing or listen to a guided meditation. Relaxation could also come from taking a hot shower or fixing yourself a hot cup of tea (or cocoa!). Even a few moments of relaxation throughout your day can make a difference if done consistently. Relaxation may look like unwinding with your favorite holiday movie while admiring your holiday decorations, lighting a winter-themed candle, and enjoying your favorite holiday treat.
- Be Present: Going through the day on autopilot can lead us to become disconnected from our emotions as well as the present moment. While participating in holiday activities or tasks, practice taking notice of the present moment by asking yourself the following questions: how am I feeling in this moment? What do I notice physically in my body? What do my surroundings look like, smell like, feel like? Turn off notifications on your phone or unplug completely from technology when engaging in a task to help you remain more present.
- Letting Go of Perfectionism: Do you ever get caught up in the idea of creating the “perfect” holiday experience for you and your family? This can be a common desire, especially for parents of young children. However, the “perfect” experience does not exist. Oftentimes, the things we treasure most about our holiday memories is quality time spent with loved ones.
- Practice Gratitude: What are the things you are most grateful for this holiday season? Mentally noting or writing out a list of what you are grateful for can be a great way to become more aware of your values and priorities. For example, you may feel grateful for the time you get to spend watching holiday movies with your family and therefore this may feel like more of a priority than going to gatherings and events. Reflecting on the positive moments of this season can help foster joy, calm, and gratitude.
- Seek Support: If you are feeling stressed out during this season, there’s a high chance others in your life are also feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Leaning on your friends can be a helpful way to receive validation and support during this time.Talk to your friends about doing something “low key” for the holidays instead of something extravagant. For example, take a drive to go see holiday lights together or have a night in to relax in your pajamas and watch a holiday movie. Additionally, initiating therapy is also a kind way to care for yourself and prioritize your needs during this season.
- Prioritize and Delegate Tasks: Shortening your holiday to-do list may seem challenging but is another way to show yourself kindness and care. What items can be crossed off that are not as important to get done? What items can you delegate to others in your life?
- Practice Self-Compassion: You may have heard the common phrase “self-care isn’t selfish.” This phrase is so true. Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential for your well-being. You cannot give to others if you are depleted of energy and resources. During the tough days, instead of beating yourself up for not being “perfect,” practice telling yourself things like “I’m doing the best I can” or “this was a really tough day. What do I need at this moment to take care of myself?” Notice what it feels like to give yourself compassion. When things do not go to plan (i.e., the house is a mess, there are still gifts to be bought), practice placing a hand on your heart, taking a deep breath, and saying “it’s okay that this did not go as planned. There’s no such thing as perfect. What makes the holidays special is spending time with the people I love.”
With the holidays just around the corner, self-care is needed to combat the chaos and stress that is often associated with this season. Taking a proactive approach to your mental health and well-being this season can make a big difference in how you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically. Practicing self-care can also positively impact the quality of your relationships and interactions. This is so important, as the holidays are all about experiencing joy and connection with those we care about!
If you find yourself needing support and care this holiday season, our team at Integrated Care Clinic can help. We are a team of mental health professionals specialized in helping children, teens, and adults achieve a sense of thriving and well-being. We would love to accompany you on your journey to finding self-compassion, joy, and connection this holiday season!
