Whenever someone says they are feeling depressed, one of the first recommendations they are given is to go to therapy. But what happens when therapy isn’t working, and you are still depressed or your depression gets worse? Many people spend months or years stuck in a cycle of going to therapy and never feeling better just because they are under the belief that therapy will make things better….eventually. If any of this resonates with you, then here are 10 things you can do when you’re depressed, and therapy isn’t working anymore.
- Talk to your therapist and express how you are feeling. As therapists, we truly want to know what is and is not working for you in therapy. By expressing how you are feeling, this gives your therapist the opportunity to make changes that could help you to feel better. Most therapists have more than one treatment plan they can use to help treat their patients. If you do not communicate with your therapist what is and is not working, then they will not know it is time to try something new.
- Seek a second opinion. If talking with your current therapist does not yield new results, then seeking a new therapist can be helpful. Every therapist has their own style and way of treating their patients. Maybe you need someone who has a stronger, bolder personality or approach, or you need someone who is softer and more gentle with you. A new perspective from a new therapist can also bring to light different areas in which you need to work on. When searching for a new therapist, look for one who specializes in your concerns. This will help you to find someone who is more likely to be able to help you heal sooner, rather than being stuck in the same position you are in now.
- Explore different types of therapy. Along with finding a new therapist, you can explore different types of therapy from which you have tried in the past. Some common types of therapy are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), EMDR, and Psychoanalysis. All of these forms of therapy have evidence-based treatment plans that while different, they are successful for all kinds of people. Just like how changing therapists can provide fresh insights, so can changing the type of therapy you seek out. Fresh new ideas and coping skills can help further your healing and potentially lessen the severity of your symptoms.
- Consider medication. While talk therapy can be very beneficial for someone diagnosed with depression, it has been proven to be even more effective when it is paired with medication. Antidepressants can be helpful because they work to help balance the chemicals in your brain that can cause depression. When working with clients who are considering medication, I like to explain to them how the combination of both medication and therapy can work. Medication can decrease the intensity of depressive symptoms which then allows for you to more easily put into practice the skills you are learning in therapy and to process your emotions more clearly. It is important to know that medication for depression does not have to be a long term solution but can help most when you’re needing to lessen the intensity of it all.
- Build a support system. Outside of the therapy room, having a support system can be essential to healing. Depression likes to tell us to hide our feelings and that no one cares about us. It shouts to us that we are not good enough for others and that the only person who can help us is ourselves. These are lies our brains tell us to keep us deep in the depression. By creating a support system and letting them into your life, you are pushing back at the depression. A support system does not allow you to go through life alone. Family members, friends, and spouses make up a great support system. The bigger your support system, the stronger the force you have against your depression.
- Engage in activities. One of the key features of depression is a lack of interest in doing things you used to enjoy doing. Engaging back in those activities, even when you do not feel like it, can help you to feel better. It can be helpful to make a list of activities you once used to love. It can be simple things like going for walks with your family, texting with your friends, or going grocery shopping. You can also add bigger things such as grabbing coffee with someone, exercising, and playing on a sports team. Engaging in any kind of activity will boost the serotonin in your brain, which results in you feeling happier.
- Practice self-care. Self-care is one of the first things to go when we are depressed. This can be things like showering, brushing your teeth, and eating well. It can also be taking a step beyond those things and doing something simple that brings you joy. I encourage people to look at self-care in 4 stages. The first is daily. Find one thing you can do daily to bring you joy. This may mean waking up 15 minutes early so you can enjoy a cup of coffee or taking your lunch break out of your office. Find one thing you can do once a week that brings you joy. This could be eating out at your favorite restaurant once a week or an evening in a bubble bath. Next, you look for something you can do once a month that can bring you joy. Maybe you want to go hiking for a weekend or have a little staycation. Lastly, you are intentional with one thing a year that can bring you joy. You could go on vacation or splurge on something you have been wanting. The key to all of these is finding something that is joyful for you, no matter how big or small it is.
- Try mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help create an inner peace that depression tries to take away. It is encouraged that one practices mindfulness on a regular basis, even when they are not feeling distressed. One of the easiest and most readily available mindfulness skills are breathing exercises. One I like is called 4 square breathing. Imagine you are tracing a square (or actually trace one in the air) You breathe in for 4 seconds, hold four 4 seconds, breath out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds. Repeat until you feel calmer and more in control of yourself. Another mindfulness scan that many like to use is the 5 Senses. You use your 5 senses to observe your surroundings. Find one thing you can see, hear, feel, taste, and hear. This grounds you to the present and allows you to be mindful of the world around you.
- Join Support groups. In most areas, like the Tampa Bay area, there are all kinds of support groups available to people both virtually and in person. By joining a support group, you will be able to surround yourself with people who have been or currently are in the same place you are mentally and emotionally. Good support groups are led by mental health clinicians who know how to support a group and keep them safe for all involved. A simple google search can help you to find a support group that will fit your needs. If you choose to try out support groups, I encourage you to give it 2-3 sessions before you decide it’s not for you. It can take some time to feel comfortable and to really get a good idea for what the support group can do for you. If you work it, it will help.
- Emergency help. Depression symptoms can include thoughts of suicide and self-harm. If you no longer feel you can keep yourself safe, please call 911 or take yourself to the nearest hospital. There they can take all measures necessary to ensure your safety until these thoughts and feelings calm down.
Anyone diagnosed with depression may find themselves struggling to get by with the therapy they are currently in. This is not a representation of yourself, nor does it mean you cannot be helped. Finding the right therapist, right therapy style, and skills can take some time. Investing in yourself through therapy and coping skills can result in positive outcomes, if you give it enough time. Remind yourself you are the one in control, not the depression.
